3 things to do when your friend is going through a divorce

It wasn’t until I was 27 (4 years after my divorce and 6 years after my separation) did I realize why I lost all my friends during my divorce. Ok, so I kept a few, but I did lose most of them.

Some of them were because they had closer ties to his family, and some were because he kept attending the church we went to.

But, a few were my very close, close friends. I mean, they were MINE before they were OURS.

Now, I’m older and a little wiser. I’ve had the chance to see the other side. Luckily, I knew what NOT to do in this situation, because I got hit with the worst of it.

However, it became clear to me that not very many people know how to help their friends when they are going through a divorce.

The reason is pretty simple…They feel pressure to pick a side! Whether you are saying it or not, it’s a feeling that’s automatic. It’s a thought that says, “Who do I stand beside?”

There are 3 choices, “The man, the woman, or none.”

How do you choose which one?

Well, you may have heard the saying, “divorce is contagious.” Well..there is some truth to that.

So, it’s the “fight or flight” instinct that comes in. “If I spend time around her helping her through this divorce, it could happen to me, so maybe I should just walk away.”

It’s a completely appropriate fear, and should not be overlooked.

But you have other options. So, the following advice is for the dear friend that doesn’t want to walk away, but feels torn about how to help and not compromise her marriage.

1) Do NOT walk out on them.

If they’ve ever needed your friendship the most, now is the time. Not only will you disappoint them, but you will regret it too.

2) Set clear boundaries with your spouse AND your friend about the conversations you will engage in.

This will allow you to be ‘cautious’ and prepared.

Your friend needs to hear, “Men suck. You are better off without him. He doesn’t deserve you…” BUT, they DO NOT need to hear it from a married woman. Let another person be the one to say those types of things.

This is really important, because if you do not follow this rule, you could fall into the “divorce is contagious” trap.

When you generalize and group men into a category and speak terrible of them, you are allowing yourself to put your husband below you. You may not even realize it.

When you begin to view your husband as “lower than you” or that you are better than him, then the unity begins to break. That is why it’s so important NOT to engage in conversation that demeanors the sex of your spouse.

So, speak up when you feel uncomfortable in the topic or change the subject.

3) You should spoil her, surprise her, invite her, etc.

Depressed, scared, lonely, stressed…these are just a few of the feelings your friend is likely feeling. Your job as her friend is to get her out of this funk as quickly as possible. It may take a year or two, or just a couple months. Each situation will vary.

However, nothing is more fun and exciting than planning a girls get-a-way. This will give her something to look forward to, a reason to buy new clothes, and she is likely to feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

If you have a few extra dollars, treat her to a massage and day of shopping. Or, if you don’t just invite her out. And don’t forget to stalk her ;) Not literally, but show up on her doorstep with dinner and a movie. She’s learning to adjust without her other half.

Bottom line, she needs you and you need to make sure you do not compromise your marriage while helping. Step up and be there…cautiously.

The Fall of Facebook? Marketers: How are you adapting your Facebook marketing efforts?

The Fall of Facebook by 2017

The Fall Of Facebook Prediction by Sara Moore

If you are in any kind of marketing role, you have heard all the buzz about Facebook “being toast” by 2017.  It’s very important for you to understand why so you can prepare instead of react to your marketing efforts. If you are a marketer like myself, and have multiple clients, this study should turn your ears red, but it should not surprise you either…

1)      What goes up must come down, right?  But it doesn’t have to stay down. After all, Facebook owns Instagram which was a strategic and beneficial move for them.  And Facebook has a history of evolving-they created Facebook Graph last year which is a search engine within Facebook. So, if they continue to evolve and cater to their active market, which, in my opinion, are those born in 1987 and up, then they may continue to be successful.

2)     The older demographic that uses Facebook, isn’t likely to switch to another network very fast for 2 reasons: 1. They are just now getting used to Facebook 2. They don’t like change.

What Garett Soane said in this article that stood out to me the most was, “Of course, by 2017 the researchers may be right, Facebook could be toast, but that won’t be because the old MySpace stopped trending, it will be because the new MySpace started trending.”

As a marketer, I have already switched my efforts for my business and my clients to put more emphasis on other social networks besides Facebook.  However, Facebook, is still an integral part of social media marketing campaigns for 2014 at least.

So, the question presents itself, “What should I be doing now to prepare for the fall of Facebook?”  Well, if you are doing marketing WELL and RIGHT, then you would just continue to do what you’re doing, which should be:

1)      Utilizing 3-4 main social networks that your target demographic uses. For example, I work with a lot of young entrepreneurs, so in addition to Facebook, I utilitze the following social sites:

2)     You should also be reading up on the new and upcoming social sites that are entering the market.  This will help you prepare and identify new opportunities. I said this already, but the idea is to ‘prepare’ instead of ‘react’.

As a small business, if you haven’t already started building your audience on other social networking sites, make that a priority this year to lessen the pain of the fall.

Want more tips and updates from me? Head over to eseamarketing.com and sign up for my mailing list.

So, what you think about the “Fall of Facebook” as a small business owner. Let’s chat about it! Comment below.

Increasing Instagram Followers

What a pleasure it has been working with Pure Couture Prom and Pageant! They are “THE” store to go to for all your prom and bridesmaids dresses :-)

Need help increasing your followers on social media? eSEA Marketing has a proven method to help you with a customized plan of action that is sure to get you on the right track! #over400followers #instagram #instamarketing

Sara Moore, the Queen of Social Media Marketing,  increases Instagram followers for Pure Couture Prom in Dayton, OH

Sara Moore, the Queen of Social Media Marketing, increases Instagram followers for Pure Couture Prom in Dayton, OH

Meet Jennifer Our Director of Content Marketing

Please join me in welcoming Jennifer Leonard (aka Jenn) as our Director of Content Marketing!

I am beyond thrilled to have Jenn’s expertise on my team. She is very creative and savvy! She graduated from Miami University as an English Major with a focus on Creative Writing and Literature. She is even working on publishing a children’s book!

I asked Jenn, “As a professional marketer, what do you feel people need to know most about you?”

“I feel that it is important that others know of my passion for bringing to life a small idea through engaging writing and creative design. I stay attuned to our clients vision for their marketing strategy.  It is my ultimate goal to bring to life the message of a marketing campaign-it is then that you will have a lead generating message and a fully satisfied client.”

On the lighter side..here are some fun facts about Jenn:

  • I Love books..Reading! I try to break away from my stack of bestseller fictions novels every now and then by picking up a classic to remind myself why I appreciate literature :)
  • Coffee!
  • I like to snow ski, play tennis, and I love to bake.
  • Family!
  • My dream is to travel to Europe and would ultimately love to visit London.
  • My favorite color is pink!
  • I have a weird love for squirrels-they are spunky and feisty!
  • I wanted to be a librarian when I grew up 8)
  • My favorite books are the Harry Potter Series.
  • I eat black olives like chips!
  • I wear a watch everyday..and I actually use it!
  • If I could meet any celebrity it would be Jennifer Aniston-I would ask her questions about Friends!
  • If I were a piece of candy, I would be a Payday–I am sweet and sometimes salty

How Can My Business Benefit from the “Embed Post” feature on Facebook?

There is a newer feature on Facebook that you may have already noticed: Embed Post. It looks like this:

Embed Post

When you embed the post, all you are doing is adding the post to your website or blog.

The question to be answered is, “How can my business benefit from using this feature?” A good place to start is by choosing a Facebook review that you have received, or any other post that you or someone else has made, and “embed” it on your website. (*Note: the post must be PUBLIC to embed) When you click ‘embed’ it gives you a code to paste into the back end of your site. It looks like this:

Embed Post Code

Copy and paste the code into your blog or website.  When you embed this post, it gives your visitors/readers a way to engage with your social media and they can even like your page from your site. Follow this link for easy step by step instructions.

Get more Likes & Shares by crafting the Perfect Blog Post Title

Who wants to write a blog for no one to read…well, NO ONE!!  Blog post titles that are crafted well get more likes and shares.  I have captured the most important factors that you need to know to create the most engaging and effective blog post titles.

1)  Use ACTION VERBS or a CALL TO ACTION.

2)  Try to keep your title UNDER 8 WORDS-Obviously, I’m still working on this one ;)

3)  Use ADJECTIVES that are witty, fun, and accurate-this creates engagement and helps your blog stand out from all the others.

4)  Consider the TOP KEY PHRASES that are searched online for the topic that you are writing about.  This will help with getting your blog in front of your targeted audience.  The Keyword Planner in Google Adwords is ideal for researching this.  Click here to read about how to use the keyword planner.

Choosing a title takes time..don’t rush it.  Let your creative juices flow!

Do you have any more tips?  Need help crafting a title?  Comment below with details or email me and I’ll give you a free recommendation on your next blog post title!